Like many Holistic Management Practitioners, I got sucked in by Allan Savory's taunt that we could double our stocking rate. Running twice as many cattle on the same piece of land defies logic but can be pretty tempting when you are against the financial wall. Most all of us increased our stocking rate by 50%, many of us doubled our stocking rate, and some did even better.

But most of us didn't get the Quality of Life deal. Even after we worked through the required obligatory, macho- machismo, tough-boy attitude that our culture requires and actually considered a quality of life, we didn't know how to think about it. We didn't know what to do.

We were taught to write our Quality of Life statement based on our values. We were taught that we all have pretty much the same values- Honesty, Prosperity, Dependability, Loyalty, Commitment, Freedom, Love, Family, Open-Mindedness, Curiosity, etc. So, we begin writing a long, flowery statement sprinkled with these words. Too often we miss how these eternal values apply to our life. Every one of us will most likely express the same value differently. Freedom to me is being debt free. Freedom to another is living on a desert isle. Before we can define a meaningful Quality of Life, we need to understand how we express our core values.

My uncle Tom gave me a way to think this through and have a better understanding of what I value. But let me tell you how this unfolded in one of the best days of my life.

Tom was my Dad's youngest brother, twenty years his junior and eight years my senior. I followed him around when I was a kid, milking the cow, greasing hay machinery, and putting a 30-foot rake through a 16-foot gate.

But he presented a juxtaposition. We were all in this hard-core ranching culture, yet Tom was kind of a renegade. He had long hair and played in a rock band, The S & T’s. S was for the lead singer’s last name, Sewer. T was for Tom. Tom referred to the band as “Sewer and the Turds.”

Tom was kind of the underdog but more a champion of underdogs. At the same time, he worked harder than anyone, stacking hay, digging post holes, or feeding in the winter. He wanted to be away from the bustle. He went to Alaska and set records unloading fish from fishing boats.

Tom came to visit his brother Jack and me, in Wyoming. He didn't make it to my dad's funeral a few years before but he wanted to see his grave. He stood at the fence rail at the foot of Don Malmberg's grave, under Sheep Mountain, and just seemed to flow with the wind. Eventually, he spoke, "Yeah, I think this is a good place to be buried."

The next day, Jack, my cousin Inger, Tom and I saddled up and went to sort some cows. Tom rode my horse Nick, a really good cutting horse. Tom rode with a long stirrup and you could see a subtle smile as he sorted cows for the next couple of hours.

We finished sorting and moved the "cut" to a different pasture. We headed home and pulled over at the Union Bar in Hudson, WY, the same town that Rich Hobson and Panhandle Smith left when they started their ranch in British Columbia, chronicled in Grass Beyond the Mountain. It seemed fitting because Tom took that same route toward a more sparsely populated region.

Tom explained that his primary mission was to be somewhere that you aren't told what NOT to do. He lived on an island in the Aleutians and wanted to be let alone. He gathered signs put out by government agencies telling people what they couldn't do. No Smoking, No Trespassing, No Burning signs were hauled on his boat and dumped in the ocean.

"I used to only do this once or twice a year. But it's taking more and more time," he chuckled a deep, self-satisfied chuckle.

As we got another beer, Tom asked, "What was the worst day of your life?"

Jack picked up the cue and told us about a day when he had finished feeding a stack of hay with his 6 horse team. It was a nice spring day and he was crossing the Snake River on the Hill Ranch in Nebraska's Sandhills. He had been taking a shortcut across the ice and did so on this day, which turned into a day of hell for Jack.

His horses fell through the ice and the next several hours consisted of lashing, lunging, pleading, and prodding, trying to save the horses from drowning. I wasn't there that day but I remember my sister telling a story of holding a horse's nose above water to keep it from drowning as they fought to get them unhitched and out of the abyss.

I don't do the story justice here but they did get the entire team out and didn't lose any.

We went on around the table. I explained that I didn't have a bad day but I had a really bad year when my dad died, my wife left, and I was foreclosed on.

Tom said he hadn't had his worst day yet but was keeping himself in suspense. That was his dry but deep sense of humor that many missed. He continued, "Today, was the best day of my life. I grew up on a ranch but being the youngest of seven meant I always had to hold herd. Even Nancy, (referring to his older sister,) got to sort cattle but I never did, until today. This is the first time I ever got to sort cattle and it was the best day of my life."

That day was one of the best days of my life too. Working cattle, stepping out of the chill into a warm, cozy pub, telling stories, swilling beer, getting a bit tipsy, and even getting in trouble for being late for supper.

Tom Malmberg died on September 4th, 2019. My uncle Jack called and told me and my first thoughts were of that day. In reliving that memory I realized we can use Tom's approach to better think through Holistic Management's Quality of Life. By remembering the best and worst day of our lives, we can put some meat on the bones of our core values.

Jack's worst day revealed his love for his horses. He violated their trust by putting them in harm's way. This day demonstrated his relationship with the values of Love and Trust. Working horses are still an important part of Jack's life as he approaches eighty years old.Tom's best day of sorting cattle revealed his value of artistry and expression of the cowboy identity. He played the guitar and bluegrass music, another way of expressing artistry. Tom did finally experience the worst day of his life. His obituary stated that the worst day of his life was losing a house he built due to a land dispute. That would indicate the values of Independence in owning your place and Artistry in building something himself.

That best day of my life demonstrated a core value of Support for others Independence. I was able to provide Tom an opportunity to express his cowboy skill and independence. It has been a core theme throughout my life to seek the cutting edge and support others in self-discovery and being independent.

The worst year of my life revealed a core value of Trust. In that worst year, I felt like I betrayed the trust of my wife, my family, and my banker.

I have learned that we don't have just "one" best day, or worst day, but they seem to punctuate different stages of our lives. I had the best day when I won the Most Improved Musician of the year in my high school band. I had the best day when awarded the National Environmental Stewardship Award for achieving financial and ecological results in ranch management. I had the best day when I first met Andrea after months of writing letters. I had the worst day when I was defeated as the Wyoming Farm Bureau Vice-President. I had the worst day at our company, Grasslands-LLC’s, Christmas party after most of the staff were laid-off or fired during the holiday season.

These best and worst days fed or starved my core values, Loyalty, Learning, Justice, and Freedom.

Think about the best day of your life, how it made you feel, how you expressed your being, or not, and revisit your Quality of Life statement. It might bring Holistic Management past theory and inspire your practice.

Rest in Peace Uncle Tom. With your tactic, perhaps more of us can live in peace.

The Best Day of Your Life- Understanding your Core Values